The Quick Way To Find Things
WORKING THE RECOVERY STEPS
STEP SIX
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLE: PURITY
SIXTH STEP PRAYER
Dear God,
I am ready for your help in removing from me the defects of character, which I now realize are an obstacle to my recovery. Help me to continue being honest with myself and guide me toward spiritual and mental health.
STEP SIX
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
When many of us first came into the Recovery Road Online Fellowship, we thought that if we could just learn to stop gambling, all of our problems would be solved. For some of us by now we are already finding that the obsession to gamble has been considerably reduced or perhaps even eliminated. There is a tendency to want to rest on our laurels and wonder why we need to do anything else. The answer is that if we want to have the gambling obsession become permanently removed and have The Promises come true in our lives, we need to do more.
By now it should also have become obvious that gambling was not our only character defect. In our moral and financial inventory, we have identified several of these defects (the last column of the moral inventory worksheets). Now we have to begin the work of ridding ourselves of these corrosive flaws. Typically, there are several of these defects that we immediately recognize continue to cause problems in our lives. These ones we should quickly become ready to have removed.
However, if we are honest, there may also be some character defects that we must admit that to some extent we enjoy and may not be entirely ready to have them removed. Perhaps we are prone to anger and feel that it makes us feel strong and powerful. We see that frequently people may recoil from this and we can often bully them into letting us get our way. We may not be so anxious to let go of this power that we feel we have. Chances are that we may have also become skilled at making other people feel guilty and getting them to accept some responsibility for our problems.
In addition, certain common human tendencies in such things as gluttony, lust and laziness in moderation may be normal and not especially problematic. However, taken to extremes where they result in serious negative consequences, we may now truthfully identify these as serious character defects and wish to have them removed also.
Finally, often we rationalized our dishonesty behind such motives as not wishing to hurt other people. “What they don’t know can’t hurt them” we cynically declared. The reality is that with our new way of thinking and living, we can no longer behave with this lack of integrity. It has been said that the true sign of character is how we behave when we think no one is watching. If we honestly want to grow our self-esteem, we must begin by doing esteemable acts.
Even if there are some character defects that we are not entirely ready to have removed immediately, we must not state they we can never let go of them. Instead, we should focus now on the most pressing flaws that are causing us the greatest harm. For compulsive gamblers, these are often things like dishonesty, pride, arrogance, selfishness, self-centeredness and anger. These insidious characteristics stand in the way of our being of service to others and also, we generally find them to be inconsistent with the will of our higher power.
It is important to note that we shouldn’t view Step Six as similar to our New Year’s resolutions. This is not the time to decide we are going to quit smoking, lose 20 pounds, quit eating candy, and go to the gym four times a week. If we do this, we are likely to have the same results as we typically do with our annual resolutions. These may all be worthy goals, but many members find that they are not ready to work on eliminating all of these less pressing character defects until we have been in the program longer.
The guiding principle for Step Six should be “progress, not perfection”. None of us will ever be perfect, but that fact cannot deter us from striving to continuously improve our character. Like the child first learning to ride a bicycle, if we do not keep moving forward, we are likely to fall. The key words “entirely ready” indicate that we want to aim at the very best we can achieve. In this sense, Step Six is really just a beginning of a lifetime job. The urgency is that we must now make an honest beginning and keep trying.
Worksheet 6A – CHARACTER DEFECTS
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Character Defect |
Especially troubling and I greatly want to have this defect removed as soon as possible. |
Not causing major problems in my life now, but I would eventually like to have it removed. |
Truthfully, I enjoy this defect and I’m not now ready to have it removed. |
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INSTRUCTIONS:
We recommend that you make copies of this page, draw four columns on a piece of paper or use a spreadsheet on your computer to create the columns. This worksheet is very straightforward. You simply list all of your character defects in the left-hand column and then check which of the three categories it most closely falls into. Note – it is important that there are no character defects that you state emphatically that you will never give them up under any circumstances.
EXAMPLE:
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Character Defect |
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Not causing major problems in my life now, but I would eventually like to have it removed. |
Truthfully, I enjoy this defect and I’m not now ready to have it removed. |
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Selfish/ Self-Centered |
✔ |
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Ego/Arrogant |
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Dishonest |
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Angry/Resentful |
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✔ |
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Envious |
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✔ |
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Smoke Cigarettes |
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✔ |
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Lazy |
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✔ |
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Gossipy |
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✔ |
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Unhealthy diet |
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✔ |
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We are ready to move on to Step Seven.
Step Seven
All Twelve Steps Of Recovery